Jesus Loves My Cogs

There were parts of me that I hated growing up. Not parts of my body, but the combination of the inner workings and the outward expression of them. As an adult, I look back at my younger self and see those inner workings as an intricate system of cogs. Some cogs small, lithe, and spinning fast, some large, cumbersome, and spinning slowly. The small and lithe cogs were the ones that spoke of my desire to absorb information in the form of books and any other reading material I could get my hands on. The large and cumbersome cogs were those that evidenced my inability to exceed in sports or any activity requiring a certain amount of coordination, speed, or agility.

I see now that those large cogs were the ones I loathed as a teen.

Those awkward lumbering things were responsible for the fact that I, to this day, am unable to clap and sing at the same time. I can do one. Or, I can do the other. Not both.

I also pin the fact that I can't seem to take ten steps without turning an ankle or ripping off a toenail on those massive, ill-fitting cogs.

I loathed them as a teen, but now, I see that loathing parts of me brings nothing but frustration. It's a form of jealousy and is a cancer that slowly eats away at any effort to live a full and healthy life. As I raise my own child, I pray the Lord guides my hand and my actions. I never want to model the type of behavior that might show him how to hate parts of himself.

Tomorrow is Easter. The day on which we celebrate the resurrection of our loving Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The fact that He loves every little cog that makes up the me that is me enough to die for me creates a barrier against self-loathing. He loves those huge, lumbering cogs, and I cannot forget that He was thoughtful enough to create them. They are essential to my being. Without them, I would be someone different, and therefore not myself. Were I to continue hating them, I would be unable to fully appreciate what He did on the cross.

Jesus loves my cogs and I love them too.